It all happened because of a Neuroscience report.
A report that I knew about for months, but here I am sitting on the couch drowning in stress and overwhelm – and regretting getting myself into this position.
It’s the night before the report is due and I’ve barely started. I know it’s just a report and in the scheme of things, not that important… But I can’t believe I’ve got myself into this position.
I ask myself, “What if I just don’t do it?” But I know I can’t (and I’ve never not handed something in before). I know I have to — and I will — get it done tonight.
My boyfriend is in the kitchen cooking risotto for dinner and he tells me, “You can do it. Just get it done.”
I feel frustrated at my past self for letting months and weeks slip by without doing anything for this report. There were lots of reasons why I got myself into this situation, but they didn’t matter when it came to the due date.
It didn’t matter that I’d been preoccupied moving into our house for the past week after 6 months of jumping around between our parent’s houses and temporary accomodation.
It didn’t matter that I kept putting the assignment off because I didn’t actually know how to write this kind of report or understand the topic.
It didn’t matter that I started my degree in the middle of the year and this was the only subject where missing the first semester’s unit was not recommended.
All that mattered was that I had put off doing it and now put myself into a stressful situation — and I feel sick because of it.
I remember this moment so clearly.
I remember looking down at my barely started report and promising myself this:
Never ever again.
Never again was I going to leave a university assignment this late.
Nope, never (ever) again.
I promised myself that I was never going to put myself in this situation again. I held myself to that promise for the next 3 years of my degree. And I never (ever) again left an assignment to be completed the night before.
Whenever I started putting off starting an assignment or procrastinating on it for too long I would remind myself how I felt on that night — and it would motivate me to get a draft done or to work on the assignment a bit more.
Remembering how I felt in that moment motivated me into action countless times over the years. It got me to sit down and do the work, even when I didn’t feel like it. It would help me to not put things off and instead do things now to help my future self.
Even though this was several years ago now, I often still think of this “never ever again” moment.
When we get ourselves into situations that we don’t want to be in, or that don’t align with how we want to live our lives, we can use it opportunity to recognise that this is something we don’t want more of.
We have an opportunity to choose how we want to live our lives.
We have an opportunity to do things differently in the future.
We have an opportunity to decide, “Nope. Never (ever) again.”
And to live by that.
PS. Have you ever had a “never ever again” moment? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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