You can’t start a blog.
Who do you think you are? You can’t do this — you’re not an expert on ANYTHING.
What’s the point no one is going to read it anyway?
No one cares what you have to say so don’t even bother!
These are just some of the (many) things my “Mean Girl” as Melissa Ambrosini calls it — told me when I first wanted to start this blog.
And honestly I let these thoughts — and my Mean Girl — hold me back from doing this for such a long time.
One of the most powerful things I’ve ever done was to stop buying into my what my inner critic was saying.
Doing this changed everything — and made me stop holding myself back from doing what I really wanted. I ended up launching this blog, enrolling in a life coaching course and putting myself out there as a certified life coach, and so much more.
What I know for sure is this:
Which is why I really believe in the work Melissa Ambrosini is doing in the world — and in particularly with her new book: Mastering Your Mean Girl.
This book is like a love-soaked pep talk from your best pal. It’s stunningly designed, filled with truth-bombs and inspiration galore. It’s potent and powerful, and filled with personal stories and actionable tips. It covers choosing love over fear, relationships, dealing with your inner critic, spirituality, self-love, abundance and so much more.
I also had the pleasure of attending her book tour night in Melbourne a few weeks ago and WOAH being in Mel’s luminous presence is indescribable. It was an inspiring, love-filled evening where I was reminded of some super important truths that I needed to hear.
So in the spirit of stopping the negative self-talk from holding us back, here are 5 of my favourite things I’ve learnt about Mastering Your Mean Girl from Melissa Ambrosini.
If you’re human you have a Mean Girl / inner critic / ego.
So everyone of us has to deal with that critical voice inside our head that is judgemental and negative (even the Dalai Lama!).
No matter who you are — your inner critic will try to hold you back and keep you small.
And no matter what you do — it’s never going away.
Mastering your inner critic doesn’t mean it’s going away for good, however as Mel says, “awareness is key” when it comes to mastering your Mean Girl.
Mel does not believe in smashing or obliterating your Mean Girl (and I absolutely love this because I know that battle approach has never worked for me!).
Instead, she preaches becoming best pals with your Mean Girl and accepting that she is apart of you, but also not buying into what she’s saying either.
It means being aware of your Mean Girl and gently (but firmly) closing the door on her.
In any situation, we always have two choices: LOVE or FEAR.
In other words: Your truth or your Mean Girl.
To master your Mean Girl you need to choose love (your truth) instead of fear in each moment.
So when it comes to making a decision, exercising, eating, looking after yourself, reacting to someone else — or anything else at all — we always have the choice to act from love or fear.
Choosing love over fear in one moment does not mean you’ve mastered your Mean Girl forever/
Instead, mastering her truly is an on-going process that you need to practice again and again.
Mel refer’s to this process like going to the gym, you don’t go once and then you’ve built the muscle completely, you need to consistently devote to it.
Mastering your Mean Girl requires you to make a moment-to-moment commitment, to take action (again and again) and to be persistent and resilient.
This was one of my favourite takeaways from Mel’s book and something that I’ve been committed to doing ever since I had this powerful realisation last year.
It’s so important to fill your cup first before showing up for anyone else.
In order to show up fully and be our best selves in any situation we need to do make sure we take care of ourselves FIRST, so we can give from a place of overflow.
∞ Being your true self is a form of service.
∞ Your Mean Girl can’t be present when you’re present.
∞ No one can do you.
∞ Cultivate gratitude for ALL your past stories that have led you to where you are today.
∞ Nothing changes if nothing changes.
∞ To inspire others to change you don’t need to shove it down their throats, instead be the example.
∞ Expectations set you up to be disappointed.
∞ There is always a consequence when we don’t honour our truth.
You can get a copy of this incredible book here:
PS. You might also like: 6 unique and fun ways to deal with your inner critic
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