One Infinite Life
March 3, 2016

What I've learnt from Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini http://oneinfinitelife.com/mastering-your-mean-girl-by-melissa-ambrosini/

 

You can’t start a blog.

Who do you think you are? You can’t do this — you’re not an expert on ANYTHING.

What’s the point no one is going to read it anyway?

No one cares what you have to say so don’t even bother!

 

These are just some of the (many) things my “Mean Girl” as Melissa Ambrosini calls it — told me when I first wanted to start this blog.

And honestly I let these thoughts — and my Mean Girl — hold me back from doing this for such a long time.

One of the most powerful things I’ve ever done was to stop buying into my what my inner critic was saying.

Doing this changed everything — and made me stop holding myself back from doing what I really wanted. I ended up launching this blog, enrolling in a life coaching course and putting myself out there as a certified life coach, and so much more.

 

What I know for sure is this:

Our inner critic will run the show if we let it  twit-bird

 

Which is why I really believe in the work Melissa Ambrosini is doing in the world — and in particularly with her new book: Mastering Your Mean Girl.

This book is like a love-soaked pep talk from your best pal. It’s stunningly designed, filled with truth-bombs and inspiration galore. It’s potent and powerful, and filled with personal stories and actionable tips. It covers choosing love over fear, relationships, dealing with your inner critic, spirituality, self-love, abundance and so much more.

What I've learnt from Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini http://oneinfinitelife.com/mastering-your-mean-girl-by-melissa-ambrosini/

I also had the pleasure of attending her book tour night in Melbourne a few weeks ago and WOAH being in Mel’s luminous presence is indescribable. It was an inspiring, love-filled evening where I was reminded of some super important truths that I needed to hear.

So in the spirit of stopping the negative self-talk from holding us back, here are 5 of my favourite things I’ve learnt about Mastering Your Mean Girl from Melissa Ambrosini.

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What I've learnt from Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini http://oneinfinitelife.com/mastering-your-mean-girl-by-melissa-ambrosini/    melissa-ambrosini-3    What I've learnt from Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini http://oneinfinitelife.com/mastering-your-mean-girl-by-melissa-ambrosini/

 

WHAT I’VE LEARNT ABOUT MASTERING YOUR MEAN GIRL BY MELISSA AMBROSINI

 

1. Every singe person has a Mean Girl (or boy).

If you’re human you have a Mean Girl / inner critic / ego.

So everyone of us has to deal with that critical voice inside our head that is judgemental and negative (even the Dalai Lama!).

No matter who you are — your inner critic will try to hold you back and keep you small.

And no matter what you do — it’s never going away.

Mastering your inner critic doesn’t mean it’s going away for good, however as Mel says, “awareness is key” when it comes to mastering your Mean Girl.

 

“We have our very own self-created bully living inside our heads every minute of the day”  twit-bird

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2. You don’t need to fight your Mean Girl in order to master her.

Mel does not believe in smashing or obliterating your Mean Girl (and I absolutely love this because I know that battle approach has never worked for me!).

Instead, she preaches becoming best pals with your Mean Girl and accepting that she is apart of you, but also not buying into what she’s saying either.

It means being aware of your Mean Girl and gently (but firmly) closing the door on her.

“So rather than fighting her, slamming the door in her face and resisting her every step of the way, it’s more constructive to use her as a guide back to your truth” twit-bird

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3. To master your Mean Girl you need to choose love.

In any situation, we always have two choices: LOVE or FEAR.

In other words: Your truth or your Mean Girl.

To master your Mean Girl you need to choose love (your truth) instead of fear in each moment.

So when it comes to making a decision, exercising, eating, looking after yourself, reacting to someone else — or anything else at all — we always have the choice to act from love or fear.

“Once you master the art of choosing love over fear, it will place your dream life at your fingertips” twit-bird

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4. Mastering your Mean Girl is not a one-off thing.

Choosing love over fear in one moment does not mean you’ve mastered your Mean Girl forever/

Instead, mastering her truly is an on-going process that you need to practice again and again.

Mel refer’s to this process like going to the gym, you don’t go once and then you’ve built the muscle completely, you need to consistently devote to it.

Mastering your Mean Girl requires you to make a moment-to-moment commitment, to take action (again and again) and to be persistent and resilient.

“Resilience means staring your Mean Girl in the eyes and saying I see you, but I am not willing to let you win”  twit-bird

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5. Give from overflow.

This was one of my favourite takeaways from Mel’s book and something that I’ve been committed to doing ever since I had this powerful realisation last year.

It’s so important to fill your cup first before showing up for anyone else.

In order to show up fully and be our best selves in any situation we need to do make sure we take care of ourselves FIRST, so we can give from a place of overflow.

“If you don’t take time out for yourself, you’re doing yourself and everyone around you a disservice.” twit-bird

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Some rapid-fire wisdom from Melissa:

What I've learnt from Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini http://oneinfinitelife.com/mastering-your-mean-girl-by-melissa-ambrosini/

Being your true self is a form of service.

Your Mean Girl can’t be present when you’re present.

No one can do you.

Cultivate gratitude for ALL your past stories that have led you to where you are today.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

To inspire others to change you don’t need to shove it down their throats, instead be the example.

Expectations set you up to be disappointed.

There is always a consequence when we don’t honour our truth.

 

You can get a copy of this incredible book here:

 Mastering Your Mean Girl: The no-BS guide to being wildly wealthy, fabulously healthy + bursting with love

One Infinite Life

PS. You might also like: 6 unique and fun ways to deal with your inner critic

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  • Sarah Jensen

    Give from overflow resonates the strongest with me because I’ve been in that place of massive over-giving, seeking approval and validation outside myself and wanting to do more so maybe, just maybe, one day, I’ll feel like I’m ‘enough’. Giving myself permission to look after myself, love myself, nurture myself and take care of myself first has been an absolute revelation and life-changer for me. I’m now a firm believer in self-care that doesn’t suck, saying yes to the things that scare you, embracing Danielle LaPorte’s mantra that if it’s not a “hell yes” then it’s a no, and that taking care of myself is not only essential, but it makes me so much more able to give, create, love and be generous from a beautiful, balanced place.

    • http://www.oneinfinitelife.com/ Chloe | One Infinite Life

      Yes Sarah! I absolutely love this so much, thank you for sharing. I think it’s very easy as a human to fall into that trap over-giving in order to feel like we are enough / to get validation. Your self-awareness around this is pretty amazing lovely. I completely agree with you that giving myself permission to take awesome care of myself has been life-changing for me also — and I’m all for self-care that doesn’t suck either (reminds me of our awesome convo the other day! ?). I now believe that self-care is actually an act of service.

      PS. Good luck with the giveaway ?

  • Olivia

    The lesson that resonated most with me was about choosing love over fear. I find it easy to fall into the trap of I should do this because otherwise this bad thing will happen but it’s so much more rewarding to come from a place of love instead. Things seem to flow more easily and there’s so much more joy in it. =)

    • http://www.oneinfinitelife.com/ Chloe | One Infinite Life

      Olivia, thank you so much for sharing this. It’s such a powerful lesson and I love how you said it’s so much rewarding to approach things from a place of love — I so agree. Good luck with the giveaway lovely ✨

  • Lorella

    “Give from overflow” also, I just think that is the easiest way to give share that amazing crucial advice!! x

    • http://www.oneinfinitelife.com/ Chloe | One Infinite Life

      Yep, it’s such a great lesson Lorella ?

      PS. Good luck with the giveaway.

  • http://popyourcareer.com Rebecca McFarland

    Thanks for sharing this, Chloe. I’m actually not familiar with Melissa’s work so it is great to hear about what seems like a very powerful resource. For me, the lesson that resonated the most was number 4, mastering your mean girl is not a one off thing. Starting a business is hard and mastering my “mean girl” is something I definitely need to practice. Thanks again, Chloe X

    • http://www.oneinfinitelife.com/ Chloe | One Infinite Life

      My pleasure Rebecca, I’m glad it was useful for you. Yes, so true lovely it definitely is not a one off thing and I think it’s something we have to continue to practice again and again, especially when embarking on anything new — like starting a business.

      PS. Wishing you luck with the giveaway ✨

  • Carine

    This book has just been popping up everywhere I look, which I see as a sign that I need this book in my life right now. I have been thinking of starting my own blog as well as enrolling for a life coaching course. I have to remind myself daily that I am capable of anything I set my mind to…so I can relate to the fact that mastering my mean girl is not a once off thing but a daily renewing of my mind and a range of positive affirmafions. Would love to win this book. Thanks for your inspiring blog.

    • http://www.oneinfinitelife.com/ Chloe | One Infinite Life

      Thank you for your kind words about my blog Carine. I completely agree with you, when things keep popping up it definitely is a sign that we need to hear the message ? You are so so so capable of doing absolutely anything lovely, which is why mastering your mean girl (again and again) is so important — so it doesn’t hold us back from what we really want ?

      PS. Wishing you luck with the giveaway lovely ✨