I remember the exact moment that I realised I was my own worst enemy.
I was watching one of my favourite TV shows Girls and these words hit me like a freight train…
And in that moment I realised that I was my own worst enemy.
I then decided that I was going to start being a lot kinder to myself, from then on.
I know that for myself…
No one has ever been as mean to me than I have been to myself.
I am more critical of myself than I am of anyone else.
I practice being compassionate to the other people in my life – but don’t extent that same kindness to myself.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
The Dove campaign One Beautiful Thought powerfully demonstrates how unfairly cruel we are to ourselves.
If you haven’t already seen this clip I highly encourage you to check it out (it only goes for 2.20 minutes!)
I know I wouldn’t. Ever.
So really, I shouldn’t say them to myself either.
And this is something I have been working ever since I saw that episode of Girls.
Be aware of it.
Awareness is everything. Becoming aware of your negative inner dialogue is crucial if you want to stop being your own worst enemy.
Accept that you are not perfect.
And honestly, you never will be. And that’s okay. Perfection is an illusion. It doesn’t exist.
As John Green says “I don’t know any perfect people – only really really flawed people who are still worth loving.”
You are flawed.
But you are still worth loving.
All we can really do is be the best version of ourselves – and trust that it is enough.
Starting being your own best friend
Ask yourself if you would say it to your best friend? If you wouldn’t, don’t say it to yourself.
When you have a critical or negative thought about yourself imagine that your best friend was feeling this way about themselves. How would you respond to them? Extent that same kindness to yourself.
And practice being as compassionate and kind to yourself as you would to your best friend.
Laugh at you ego.
I like to take the same approach with my ego as they do with a boggart in Harry Potter. What combats a boggart is laughter – and I try to use laughter to subdue my ego.
I find this takes the power away from whatever negative thing my inner critic is trying to convince me is true – and it makes it seem silly and unrealistic instead.
As Eckhart Tolle says “don’t take your thoughts too seriously.”
Now I would LOVE to hear from you in the comments below with a response to this question:
How can you start being kinder to yourself starting right now?
Here’s to being a whole lot kinder to ourselves.
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